Professor James Mickens

Happiness Nullification, Intergalactic Carnage, and the Release of Multiple Frost Giants: A Sober Analysis of AI Impact

Congratulations! The models are almost as good as us! What a profoundly bad idea this was. Please join me as I celebrate the impending conclusion of the human project. I have carefully selected the start time of my talk so that it will overlap with the last human job being automated away; as a solar eclipse forms and the spirits of our ancestors return to punish us, I will make some fairly obvious comments about the bad decisions that we made along the way. Many of you will be fine with those decisions because you own stocks in the S&P 500. As you slowly realize that the abstract concept of money is not helpful when the economy only sells GPUs to other GPUs, I will be burrowing towards the molten core of the earth like a cicada, waiting for nature's cleansing cycle to begin as I make cicada noises with the cicada appendages that I now presumably have. In the unlikely event that my cicada appendages have not emerged yet, I will instead be sleeping through the apocalypse on your futon, and I hope that it was clear that I've always respected you and your ability to select the cheapest possible agent with the best possible scores on the AGI-Spirit-Ablation benchmark.